Redtree Times

Practice giving things away, not just things you don’t care about, but things you do like. Remember, it is not the size of a gift, it is its quality and the amount of mental attachment you overcome that count. So don’t bankrupt yourself on a momentary positive impulse, only to regret it later. Give thought to giving. Give small things, carefully, and observe the mental processes going along with the act of releasing the little thing you liked.

–Robert A.F. Thurman, American Buddhist author/professor

I like this bit of advice.

Give away things that mean something to yourself, something to which, as Thurman points out, you have a mental attachment that must be overcome. That’s always been the yardstick I use when giving away work at my talks or simply as a gift. It has to be something that hurts a bit to give away, something that you just want to hold onto a bit longer.

But giving away the valued things of self brings on a feeling of magnanimity in myself, a feeling that seems so much larger and grander than that which usually comes along with clinging onto something. The feeling of generosity is warm and encompassing, like a field of fully opened sunflowers reaching toward the sun. On the other hand, miserly stinginess feels cold and all balled up, like a hard raisin sitting on a frigid garage floor.

And you most likely will find that the more that you give away, your desire to cling on to these things will fade away.

Let me clarify– I am not saying that you should give away everything you have. Again, as Thurman also points out, don’t bankrupt yourself on a momentary positive impulse. First of all, a large or expensive gift doesn’t necessarily have any emotional attachment. Sometimes a small but thoughtful thing, even something that might appear trivial to someone from the outside, can hold the most lasting meaning.

So, don’t equate price with meaning. But give when you can or when it is needed and don’t be afraid to give of yourself, even if it’s only a few sincere words on a piece of paper. Those always ends up being the gifts that hold the most meaning for both the giver and the receiver.

But you probably knew this, right? So, let’s listen to a song with a similar message from JD McPherson and his fun holiday album, Socks, from a few years ago. This is All the Gifts I Need.

This post ran a few years back, in 2020. I was reminded of it when a longtime reader of the blog recently reminded me of the enjoyable Christmas album, Socks, from JD McPherson. Doing a search to see when I last shared a song from the album, I saw that it was attached to this post. Reading it again reminded me that it is the same guiding principle I use when choosing paintings that I sometimes give away at gallery talks. I want the choice to mean something to me, to have a small pang of regret or feeling of having sacrificed something when it leaves my hands. I believe– or at least, hope– that the recipient senses this feeling and perhaps values it a bit more knowing it was given with real consideration.

I have also added the album’s title song, Socks, at the bottom. It’s a live version and captures the feeling of a kid getting a gift without much meaning, one that is just given just to be a gift.