Dark are the paths which a higher hand allows us to traverse here… let us hold fast to the faith that a finer, more sublime solution of the enigmas of earthly life will be present, will become part of us.
–Carl Friedrich Gauss, in a letter from February, 1823. As quoted in Carl Friedrich Gauss: Titan of Science (1955)
Continuing my weekly look back at some of my earlier work, this is a piece from early 1995 that intrigued me from day one. It’s called A Blue Patch and is from January 1995, from the time in between where the West End Gallery had asked me to show my work there and the time when I actually started showing.
I can’t recall clearly what I was thinking in that time. I am pretty sure that my mind was racing as I tried to select and frame the paintings that would be going to the gallery, which was a new and scary experience for me. I was obviously in a manic state since I was still able to paint while framing and still working my day job as a waiter. I was going to add while continuing to build our house, but I was most likely on a break from that since it was the dead of winter.
I am amazed at my ability to multi-task back then, especially since that ability has shrunk greatly in recent years. More than a single task in a day now seems like a towering mountain to climb before me. And some days, even a single task still feels like a hard uphill slog.
But let’s get back to this painting, okay?
I liked it very much then but couldn’t put a finger on the reason why. I felt comfortable in its space but slightly uneasy, It felt as though it had a message for me that I wasn’t quite receiving. Yet it felt big in its completeness. It felt beyond my ability to perceive it. It was an enigma and a challenge to me.
It seemed to say so little but seemed to say so much in that silence. I just couldn’t quite make out what it was saying to me with its muffled echoes that only teased my limited perceptive abilities.
As a result, I was hesitant to ever show it. It always stood out for me when I went through my older work, but I still wasn’t sure what it had to say. At the time I named it A Blue Patch for the section of blue in the otherwise murky sky, an effect that came with painting over a layer of acrylic that was applied over the whole painting surface beforehand. I was experimenting with that at the time and it eventually became a foundation for my process, albeit with gesso instead of paint.
I don’t know why I initially focused on that blue patch or why it was attached to the title. It all added to its enigmatic feeling.
And maybe that is its purpose and message, that there are things in this world that produce feeling in us that we are not intended to ever fully understand. Maybe it is a glimpse of the ethereal. A peek at the face of eternity. And maybe that is what that blue patch was meant to be for me.
I don’t know.
That might be its appeal for me.
What meaning would there be in life if we knew everything?
This painting is now showing for first time at the West End Gallery.
Let’s have a song with some blue in it. Here’s a song I shared here back in 2015. I guess it’s been long enough that it would be okay to share it again this morning. This is Madeleine Peyroux with her version of Weary Blues.
Sounds about right. I’m a little weary. I’m a little blue. Let it go…









