Quiet friend who has come so far,
feel how your breathing makes more space around you.
Let this darkness be a bell tower
and you the bell. As you ring,
what batters you becomes your strength.
Move back and forth into the change.
What is it like, such intensity of pain?
If the drink is bitter, turn yourself to wine.
In this uncontainable night,
be the mystery at the crossroads of your senses,
the meaning discovered there.
And if the world has ceased to hear you,
say to the silent earth: I flow.
To the rushing water, speak: I am.
— Rainer Maria Rilke, Let This Darkness Be a Bell Tower (1922)
I’ve had solo shows at the Principle Gallery since the year 2000. The show that year was titled Redtree. It was the first showing of the singular red tree which soon after became my trademark, carrying me through the better part of three decades. The idea that I am heading down to Alexandria for my 27th solo show there boggles my mind.
I often feel like I am looking at someone else’s life when it comes to my art. That is probably because after looking back at all the hours spent agonizing, all the many high points and the lows of disappointment and misstep, the rejections and slights, the many tens of thousands of hours spent alone in my studio with a paint brush in my hand, the sweating hard work it took to build and stain frames for the many paintings that were hauled year after year to this Virginia gallery at this time of the year, it seems like too much of an effort for me to have completed in any number of years.
This, for the most part, was written yesterday afternoon which is when my fatigue kicks in hard on me these days. The idea of that amount of work and effort seems even more inconceivable then.
Why would anyone do this to themselves year after year, decade after decade?
I could come up with a long and labored answer, 90% bullshit with whiffs of truth thrown in for flavor, but I won’t subject you to that. The first and best honest response I can come up with is that this is the only thing I know that lets me be me all the time on my terms while still making a living. I don’t have to wear a mask or try to be anyone else’s idea of who I should be. I’ve tried living that way and it never fit me well at all. The parts that didn’t fit in that life fit perfectly in this one.
That’s a big deal for me.
The second response to why one would subject themselves to such a battering is that it is addictive. Not the narcissistic, attention getting part of it. Don’t get me wrong, it’s nice to be noticed, but that isn’t enough for me, doesn’t move the needle too much. The addiction of which I am speaking is much different than being a whore for the spotlight.
I am talking about the first time someone is moved enough by your work that they view you instantly as a friend, a compadre in their own journey. They open up and tell you things they often have told no one else, sometimes secrets that have lived with them for years. Or sometimes tell me about being moved to tears by my work and, more than once, I have responded with my own tears.
The first few times this happened I was surprised and taken aback. It was so unexpected. It took some time to understand and accept this. I didn’t feel worthy at first, knowing my own deficiencies and problems. But I came to see that that was beside the point of this friendship, that we were unwittingly giving each other what we needed. They were getting an acknowledgement, they in my work and me in their confession to me, that we were not alone.
That and that opening, that bearing of their soul, is an addictive thing. It is an amazing and great feeling, like suddenly being in the company of a close friend that you didn’t even know existed before that moment.
How can someone not be drawn to such moments, no matter the effort required?
I don’t know. And I certainly don’t know how we ended up at this point of this post. The spirit took me I guess, if that is even a thing.
My point is that this 27th show at the Principle Gallery has been the toughest one to complete by far. And if not for the hard work done in those prior decades and the many kindnesses of close friends who accommodated my needs in preparing for this show, along with the promise of potentially recognizing those new close friends of which I spoke, this show would not have taken place. For a wide variety of reasons, it might be the show of which I am most proud.
I included the poem, Let This Darkness Be a Bell Tower, at the top from Rilke once more, as I had when I wrote about the show only a month or so back. In that post I focused on the last three lines, which I felt illustrated the way I see this show and my work in general, as a flow that continuously carries proof of my voice and my existence:
And if the world has ceased to hear you,
say to the silent earth: I flow.
To the rushing water, speak: I am.
For this post at this time, it was the middle lines that spoke loudest to me:
Let this darkness be a bell tower
and you the bell. As you ring,what batters you becomes your strength.
Move back and forth into the change.
What is it like, such intensity of pain?
If the drink is bitter, turn yourself to wine.
This idea of transforming your pain– emotional and physical– into a strength and a thing of beauty comes across loud and clear to me.
Like a bell ringing…
Flow opens tonight (Friday, June12) at the Principle Gallery in Old Town Alexandria. The Opening Reception runs from 6-8:30 PM. I look forward to seeing you there.
If you can’t make it to the Opening on Friday, I will also be in the gallery on Saturday morning. And if you are unable to make it in to see the show in person, you can click below to take a 3-D stroll through show at the Principle Gallery.
GC Myers “Flow” – Principle Gallery











