Every human being is tried this way in the active service of expectancy. Now comes the fulfillment and relieves him, but soon he is again placed on reconnaissance for expectancy; then he is again relieved, but as long as there is any future for him, he has not yet finished his service. And while human life goes on this way in very diverse expectancy, expecting very different things according to different times and occasions and in different frames of mind, all life is again one nightwatch of expectancy.
–Søren Kierkegaard, Patience in Expectancy (1844)
Nightwatch of expectancy…
I can guarantee you that will show up as the title on some future painting of mine.
When I came across this passage from Kierkegaard— a little light bathroom reading– it struck close to my heart. My whole career as an artist has been a constant cycle of expectancy and fulfillment. Each show is a project of expectancy that tries me in many ways–mentally, physically, and artistically. When the work for each show is completed and out the door on its way to the gallery, there is tremendous relief in the fulfillment of that expectancy.
But as Kierkegaard points out, as long as there is any future for him, he has not yet finished his service.
The next project, the next expectancy, is already taking shape in the mind even as the first deep sigh of relief from the last is still hanging in the air. And if the next project, the next show or whatever, is not yet in place, the search for it starts immediately.
The nightwatch of expectancy begins.
That is where I am right now. The work for my annual solo show, The Jubilee Dance, is finally complete and ready to head to the West End Gallery later today. The expectancy has been fulfilled and a sense of relief sets in. The fulfillment of this show has been perhaps the most trying of my career, one that consists of having gone through cycle some 70+ times. Every single one has presented its own set of challenges but the ones from this year make the relief even a bit sweeter than any of the others. The fatigue I have been experiencing from the treatment for my cancer has been on hyperdrive which has made even the simplest tasks seem like a Herculean effort. And in the last two weeks a mysterious rib pain jumped into the fray. It was like I was in the ring fighting one guy and suddenly another jumps in and begins whopping on me. To continue the boxing metaphor, I had to take a standing 8 count yesterday to get an unexpected PET scan.
But I was not knocked out. I continued the fight and surprisingly was able to finish up the show late yesterday.
Sweet relief as the final bell rang on this one.
I am a bit more tired and beaten up after this one. And while I am enjoying the contented feeling of relief this morning, I am already working in my head on what comes next. The nightwatch of expectancy is on high alert. It has to be because I don’t believe I have finished my full service of expectancy.
I still have things, projects and shows, that must and will be done.
But that is the future. This show is about what been done. I am really pleased by the show I am taking out to the West End today. If this had to be my last show– and it is definitely not going to be– I would be absolutely satisfied. It’s a richly colored and visually impactful group that I believe will look great on the gallery walls.
But then again, that’s just my opinion. Can you really trust the opinion of a tired and beaten-up fighter on how they did in their bout?
Ultimately, you’ll have to be the judge.
Hope you’ll bring your scorecards out to The Jubilee Dance, my 25th solo exhibit at the West End Gallery that opens next Friday, October 16. The opening reception at the gallery runs from 5-7 PM on Friday. I’ll be there. Look for the clown in the dunking booth.
There is also a Gallery Talk accompanying the show that takes place on Saturday, November 7, beginning at 11 AM. Keep an eye out here for more details in the coming weeks. You know, the normal stuff, like drawings for paintings and such.
I chose the painting shown at the top from this show, Joy in Every Dimension, simply because it makes me happy for some reason. And though I am tired and beaten-up today, I feel somewhat joyful. Nothing better than that on any day.
Here’s a song that I think goes well with this painting. This is Art Garfunkel and his performance of the Van Morrison song, I Shall Sing. It was recorded in 1973 at Grace Cathedral, New York.
Joy in every dimension…









