This place is a dream. Only a sleeper considers it real. Then death comes like dawn, and you wake up laughing at what you thought was your grief.
–Rumi
I am hoping this is the case.
My friend, Brian Pappalardo, died yesterday in the evening around 8 PM. if this life is a dream then Brian lived a nightmare for the past three years. I am hoping that he has woken from this dream and is laughing at us in our sorrow and grief, him knowing that it but a dream from which he has left to return to reality.
I wrote about Brian here a couple of years back when we did a fundraiser for his medical expenses, a year into his medical odyssey. In that time, he had been hospitalized with severe pulmonary problems a number of times, been intubated and on a respirator, had a trach tube, had to learn to talk, walk, and use his hands again, underwent surgeries including one recently for a serious hernia, had several serious infections, experienced kidney failure, and on and on.
So much that my memory is more than likely failing me here. More than anyone should have to experience in any one life, let alone over three years.
But Brian was a great guy, a fact well known to all who knew him, who was able to maintain an ever-hopeful outlook throughout this time. Even when he was in dire situations with his health, he was still quick to laugh and to make a wisecrack. When we talked on the phone, I always gauged his condition on how much he laughed during our conversations. I figured if he was laughing his attitude was good and he would be okay. And right up to our last conversation a week or so ago, that remained a true indicator.
This last trip to the hospital came less than two weeks ago, after a fall that had breaking his leg. All the many ailments of the past three years finally converged on Brian. It was just too much for his beleaguered body and last week was on life support.
Brian was, as I said, a great guy and a loyal friend to so many people. His sister Karen, who has sacrificed so much of herself over the past few years serving as a caregiver for Brian, was surprised at the huge outpouring of care and concern from people from all over when news of Brian’s condition was made known. Brian himself was surprised to hear from so many folks who, in many cases, he had interacted with many years before. He was an easy guy to like.
Gentle in spirit, Brian liked to hear the stories of others which served him well in his long career as a journalist and editor for our local newspaper, the Star Gazette. It also endeared him to many of his caregivers who were often coaxed into sharing the details of their lives by Brian’s inquisitive nature.
I could go on. Let me just end by saying that this dream life lost a truly good guy. I hope that wherever Brian is right now in the real Reality, he is giving that big Brian laugh.
Catch up with you later, Brian. Until then, be good.
Redtree Times 