Redtree Times

Alberto Giacometti- Walking Man I

Artistically I am still a child with a whole life ahead of me to discover and create. I want something, but I won’t know what it is until I succeed in doing it.

–Alberto Giacometti

The short statement above from the late artist Alberto Giacometti perfectly captures a feeling that has been with me for a long time now.

Now well into middle age, I have been a professional painter now for over twenty-five years and have did okay with my career in art. I pretty much do what I want, earn a living, get some recognition here and there and have established my own little niche with my work.

It’s a decent place to be at this point in my career and a lot of young artists would love to be in my position.

But most days, even when I feel the tiredness from the wear and tear of the years weighing on me physically, I still feel new to this whole art thing, like I have just scratched the surface with my work. As Giacometti points out, I feel like there is a whole life, an endless horizon, ahead of me that is filled with all sorts of new possibilities.

New forms, new expressions, new inspirations, new voices and more– all yet unseen and unknown. Just something.

And again, like Giacometti, I feel a huge gnawing desire to find that something but don’t have a clue as to what it might yet be.

That was the same feeling that I had when I was first experimenting with painting years ago. I had a hazy vision in the recesses of my mind that I wanted to pull out but didn’t truly know what it was or what it might look like until it had emerged. When it did finally come out, I instantly recognized it for what it was and what it could mean for me. I ran with the inspiration from it for many years.

But at some point during these years, I began to sense that another vision of the same sort resides somewhere down there in my mind, one that had yet to be found. One that I won’t know until it comes out.

So, though I am a sometimes-tired middle-aged guy, I know that I am still a child artistically, one who still sees the whole wide world and all its potential before him.

I work and wait in anticipation that this child’s voice will someday be heard.

The post above ran a few years back. But it speaks to a thought I’ve had for a while.

At my Gallery Talk at the Principle Gallery last year, I joked that art is tough and not for weaklings, saying, “Look at what it’s done to me– I’m only 27 years old.” I don’t know that I followed up with a proper explanation of what I was trying to say with the joke which is that while my body may show the years, the creative part of my mind still feels young and vital. Everything often feels new, much like it felt when first started painting, back around 1994.

In a way, that time when I had the accident that started this whole thing feels like my second birthdate.

So, I was wrong with my joke. I’m not 27. I’m 30.

But I do still feel 27. Some days, even younger. Maybe 17.

And that’s a good thing because as the Frank Sinatra song below says: Fairytales can come true, they can happen to you, if you’re young at art.

Okay, I took a little liberty with the lyric. What do I know? After all, I’m just a kid…