Redtree Times

Watchful Presence– Part of Continuum at Principle Gallery, June14

Life is either a daring adventure or nothing. To keep our faces toward change and behave like free spirits in the presence of fate is strength undefeatable.

–Helen Keller, Let Us Have Faith (1940)

Sunday morning and I am more than a little tired. The past few weeks have been grueling as I prep the work for the Principle Gallery show that I will be delivering a week from today. Part of it is in just the sheer amount of work for this show as well as changes in certain processes. For example, there were a couple of days during the building and finishing of frames that seemed to yield little progress as most of the time was spent in experimenting and refining the process. Trial and error with plenty of emphasis on error until I settled into a process that was efficient, consistent, and satisfied the same sense of rightness that I apply to my paintings.

It just seemed like a lot going on while little was getting done.

This has produced a higher level of anxiety than is normal. If you have read this blog for any amount of time, you might know that my normal level of anxiety is way up there. Always has been, even as a kid.

I was reminded of this while attending a memorial service and reception yesterday for my recently deceased friend, Brian, who I have mentioned here in the past. There was a nice turnout of Brian’s family, friends and colleagues, including a group of us who had went to grade school and high school with Brian. I hadn’t seen some of these guys in well over forty years. As we traded those tales of schoolboy antics that bore the hell out of our spouses, I was reminded of when I first met them after moving into the school district. It was a time of high anxiety for me, with my hair falling out in bunches which greatly alarmed my mom.

Settling in and becoming friends with this group, I learned to cope, often masking my anxiety with either a frozen form of stoicism or reckless behavior, some of which I was reminded of yesterday. Maybe that’s not really coping but it got me through the years. It was great seeing these guys and catching up, but I left feeling worn out. Like the past few weeks– and forty-plus years– had caught up with me at that moment.

It made me a bit melancholy. Maybe it was the clash of memories, the changes in us that occurred over those years and the awaiting fate that Brian’s death represented which hung over us all.

But that’s life, isn’t it?  Early on, you recognize that fate and you learn to deal with it. Cope in any way you can to the multitude of changes and shifts you will encounter in your life, some good and some not so much.

To be honest, I don’t know where this thing is going right now. While it was meant to be about the painting at the top, it feels more like a diary entry than a blogpost. Maybe I just needed to write it for myself. Who knows?

But it does fit the feel of the painting for me. There’s something in it that speaks to enduring the changes and shifts of life, to being able to stand back and take an overview of life as it passes. I call this painting, a 9″ by 12″ canvas which is one of the smaller pieces from the show, Watchful Presence.

Let’s finish off this Sunday morning with some music, as is the custom here. I looked through the archives and see where I have only played this version of this song once before. That’s surprising because it almost always make me a little teary eyed. It’s In My Life from Johnny Cash, his rendition of the Beatles classic.

This version is from the American recordings of Johnny Cash, done in the final months of his life. You can easily hear that age and ailments changed his delivery and imbued the songs with real heart-felt emotion and purity. It’s a powerful group of music. This version of the Beatles’ song is not so different from the original, but it has his own personal meaning which makes it his own. It’s one of those songs that lends itself easily to such a thing. I certainly can see my own life in it.

Most likely, you can, as well.

Watchful Presence is included in Continuum: The Red Tree at 25, my 25th annual solo exhibit at the Principle Gallery in Alexandria, VA. The show opens with a reception on the evening of June 14, 2024. I will be there to do whatever it is that I do.