GC Myers- The Angst
Born under a bad sign
I’ve been down since I began to crawl
If it wasn’t for bad luck
I tell ya, I wouldn’t have no luck at all
— Albert King, Born Under a Bad Sign
Aargh.
I just spent about an hour and a half in the early morning dark writing a post that I thought was pretty damn good. Then, with an absent-minded flick deleted the whole shebang. Not a word or trace of it remains except the title at the top of the page.
I sat here looking at the blank screen for several minutes. Could I redo it in the same way with the same impact I felt it had just a few minutes before?
Maybe. Probably not right now though.
I look at the clock and say screw it. I am angry at myself for my lack of awareness. It was my mistake for not saving it as I went along.
Just let it go and maybe try to revisit it later.
It might come out okay.
That’s my credo as of late– it might come out okay.
There are worse words to live by, I guess. And things usually do come out okay, for the most part.
Not always, of course. You’re just being argumentative now.
Things turn out as circumstances indicate they shall. Sometimes better, sometime not.
That’s the way the cookie crumbles.
I am hoping to serve you a whole cookie tomorrow, not just the crumbs.
A note on my treatment: I had my fourth dose of SBRT radiation yesterday and my final dose in tomorrow. Things are going well, thanks in great measure to the dexamethasone I take before each treatment. However, its effectiveness does seem to be waning as the radiation accumulates and outpaces the medication. Yesterday did not treat me to the same elative giddiness that I experienced last week. A lot more fatigued.
But, hey, that’s not too big a deal in the great scheme of things.
Like I said, it might come out okay.
And a final note on the song lyric at the top. My morning was not bad luck. Mistakes are not bad luck. Mistakes are just that–mistakes. We often blame our misfortunes on bad luck, but it is often the result of our own actions. I think most of the less than great things that have taken place in my life can be attributed to my mistakes, misjudgments, and lack of attention.
But it is a great tune. And I can appreciate that without thinking it applies to me.
Redtree Times 