He seems to me to be headed for his ideal fate, which is compulsive psychosis dashed with a jigger of psychopathic irresponsibility and violence.
— Jack Kerouac, On the Road (1957)
This morning, I was looking for an image of the painting, Soul Boat, from my 2019 series, Multitudes. In doing so, I came across this photo this morning from a post back in 2022 that showed the painting on a small table that sits between my desk and the bookcase built into the fireplace here in my studio. The photo caught my eye for no particular reason. It still looks pretty much the same though the books are somewhat rearranged from use though some are in the same position.
It felt a bit like a self-portrait this morning. It’s one of those images that I feel capture me and my time here in the studio without actually showing me. Something I prefer. I guess much of my art is in its own way, a similar self-portrait. The stacks of books are a nice addition and make a nice frame here though.
Soul Boat is no longer there, having moved to a storage shelf in a back bedroom. I was thinking this morning that I may have made a mistake by not including some pieces from my other painting series in my showcase, A Seedling Returns, that opens tomorrow at the Gmeiner Art & Cultural Center in Wellsboro, PA. It is part of the Big Gems exhibit which is a collaboration between the West End Gallery and the Gmeiner, showcasing both very large and very small paintings from 10 of the West End’s stable of artists. Of course, the Atrium Gallery housing my showcase is not very large so including work from a wide variety of the shorter-lived series I have worked on would be difficult.
I am not even sure why i am sharing this photo this morning outside of it striking my fancy.
Maybe it is the passage from Kerouac’s On the Road that accompanied the photo when it first appeared here.
This has been a very weird week here. I have had a lousy sinus infection that has been with me since Sunday. Aside from the headaches and the congestion and coughing, it has triggered a lot of the side effects from the hormone therapy for my cancer treatment. I have felt beaten up and exhausted all week and the hot flashes have me waking every night on sheets that are cold and wet from night sweats. I feel most times this week like I am in zombie land.
Then Cheri came down with the same thing. Combining our illnesses that with skies that are an unhealthy yellow brown hue every day from the smoke drifting in from the Canadian wildfires that give everything an eerie, otherworldly feel and makes it difficult to go outside gives you a sense of the weirdness. Just looking out the window at it brings on a sense of uneasiness.
It makes me feel like I am in some sort of dystopian novel which is exacerbated by the goings-on from the menace in our White House.
Without going into any sort of political commentary here– though I think it has moved past the political and into the realm of the existential– Kerouac’s passage seemed to be a perfect fit this morning after the psychosis that was so evident on national television last night.
That’s the end of my commentary on that. We all know what is what without me is spelling it out anymore this morning.
Like I said, a weird week. In light of it, looking at this pseudo self-portrait felt somewhat refreshing. And that is a welcome thing this morning.
Here’s song that has little to do with anything written here except that is from Joni Mitchell whose work in both song and paint can often resemble self-portraits. This is longtime favorite. This is A Case of You.
Now, git. Your continued presence makes me feel even weirder this morning.
REMINDER:
A Seedling Returns and Big Gems at the Gmeiner Art & Cultural Center in beautiful Wellsboro, PA opens tomorrow, Saturday, July 18. However, he official Opening Reception takes place next Saturday, July 25, running from 2-4 PM.