Every man has some reminiscences which he would not tell to everyone, but only to his friends. He has others which he would not reveal even to his friends, but only to himself, and that in secret. But finally there are still others which a man is even afraid to tell himself, and every decent man has a considerable number of such things stored away. That is, one can even say that the more decent he is, the greater the number of such things in his mind.
–Fyodor Dostoyevsky, Notes from Underground (1864)
This very small piece, Lost in Memory, is another included in the annual Little Gems show opening this coming Friday at the West End Gallery.
This painting may be little and simply constructed but it packs a potent punch, at least for me. It has its own atmosphere, one that reminds me of deeply hidden memory that sometimes pokes its head out when you least expect it. The kind of sharply felt reminiscences that are more like suddenly revealed secrets about yourself. The kind where a memory of a past moment suddenly takes on a new shape and form, one that you had either missed or denied at the time.
And its disconcerting because it changes your understanding of much of what came after that moment. In some cases, it brings new understanding. In others, it only raises further questions that may never be answered. It remains hanging there in the void of your memory, occasionally bumping against your consciousness to remind you that it still lingers with you.
You may or may not understand what I am saying here. It’s not something one can fully clarify without releasing parts of themself that beg to remain packed away in their secret store of memories.
That is what I see in this little piece. Something in it– perhaps the saturation of the colors or the placement of the sparse elements– adds a quality that is hard to put a pin in.
To go with this Little Gem, this week’s Sunday Morning Musical selection is a jazz standard that seems to possess that same sort of atmosphere that I am getting from this painting. It’s Goodbye Pork Pie Hat from legendary jazzman Charles Mingus in 1959.
It’s a song written as an elegy for saxophonist Lester Young who had died several months before and was known for always wearing that particular style of hat. This song has been reinterpreted in multiple ways by a wide variety of artists and had a couple of differing sets of lyrics added to it but the original stands alone for me with its depth and moodiness.














