Maintaining Balance— At West End Gallery
Silence has many dimensions. It can be a regression and an escape, a loss of self, or it can be presence, awareness, unification, self-discovery. Negative silence blurs and confuses our identity, and we lapse into daydreams or diffuse anxieties. Positive silence pulls us together and makes us realize who we are, who we might be, and the distance between these two.
–Thomas Merton, Love and Living (1979)
I’ve had this passage from the late Trappist monk/poet/author Thomas Merton rolling around in my head for a while now. Silence and quiet have been themes in my work for a long time for a good reason. I have found peace and understanding at times in silence, in stilling my mind and just trying to be where and what I am at the moment.
It’s a good place to be.
On the other hand, I have also known the negative silences of which Merton writes. There is silence but not emptiness nor stillness–important distinctions. Even in this silence, there are things– worries, fears, regrets, grievances, despairs, etc.– occupying the space and in constant motion. They distract the mind and take its focus off its silence. The mind darts through the mind space from each of these things to the next.
The desired stillness is lost in what seems to be a cacophony of motion.
I don’t know that you can totally eradicate these negative silences. They are insidious, always ready to jump back onstage and do their little silent song and dance. Maybe you can if you’re monk or a total hermit far removed from the world in all ways.
I am neither of those nor are most folks.
I guess the best we can hope for is to keep trying to find silence and stillness when it is most needed. To not fall prey to the lures of the negative silences. To drop the curtain on them when they start their little act.
And to make the most of those times when we find ourselves in that positive silence. To heal. To appreciate. To be.
It’s easy to write this. Much harder to accomplish. I always felt that if I have many more moments in the positive silent space than in the chaotic negative space, I am doing okay. I’ve been doing this delicate balancing act for a long time now and it’s always difficult to maintain. But it has become get easier. As it is with anything, rehearsal, practice, and repetition are the key to getting where you want to go.
I don’t know that this makes any sense this morning to anyone outside the space in my head. I’d be surprised and glad if it does and can only say sorry if it doesn’t. Don’t want to waste your time.
In the spirit of saving time, let’s move on. The image at the top is of a new piece, Maintaining Balance, a 6″ by 12″ painting on canvas. Just a little bigger than a true Little Gem, it is now at the West End Gallery whose Little Gems show opens this coming Friday. I had the Merton passage in mind when I was painting and titling this piece.
For this Sunday Morning Music, I am going with a song originally sung by Dick Van Dyke in the 1968 movie Chitty Chitty Bang Bang. It was written by the Sherman Brothers who produced more motion picture song scores than any other songwriting team in film history, including the many memorable songs from Mary Poppins and The Jungle Book. This performance is from a favorite of mine, Lisa Hannigan, and British musician Richard Hawley.
Just a lovely stillness and delicacy. Just what’s needed to maintain balance…
Redtree Times 
Ok. That just took me way, way back Gary. At the time it wasn’t a favorite memory, but with the passage of time it’s not so bad.
I spent my summer’s from ’68 to ’71 working as an usher at the Lowe’s State Theatre in downtown Houston. And I had a “Chitty, Chitty Bang Bang” summer. Every day, five times a day, seven days a week, all summer long I lived with that movie.
I will admit I dreamed of silence… And didn’t achieve it very often. I am sure you can imagine the average age of our patrons.
But, I just want to say… Thanks for the memories. I haven’t revisited that corner of my mind in a very long time.
That must have been about your first real job, Gary? Glad I could jog an old memory for you. It must have gotten pretty old after a while when the same movie runs for months and months, especially when you’re a teenager. I have to confess that I have never watched all of “Chitty Chitty Bang Bang.” Only bits and pieces. But I have always liked this song and, as you know, I am big Lisa Hannigan fan.
I found myself thinking of the physical version of what you’ve written. When I was a kid, I learned to balance by walking curbs along the street. Then, my friends and I moved on to walking railroad tracks and trestles. I gave that up, but when I started working on boats, I could walk a narrow finger pier with confidence. Today? I stop and consider.
While I’ve lost my ability to balance perfectly on tracks or piers, I still can stay upright while walking. Learning how to stay upright while moving between the positive and negative is the trick.
Same here, Linda. I was once at home running on the ridges of roofs but if I have to go up there now it is with a lot more consideration and a lot less speed.
Here to confirm it does make sense. A lot of sense! Very reassuring to hear, thank you for sharing
Thanks for reading and for the confirmation, Lauren. All my best to you!