Redtree Times

Mysterious Night– At West End Gallery

Sweet moonlight, shining full and clear,
Why do you light my torture here?
How often have you seen me toil,
Burning last drops of midnight oil.
On books and papers as I read,
My friend, your mournful light you shed.
If only I could flee this den
And walk the mountain-tops again,
Through moonlit meadows make my way,
In mountain caves with spirits play —
Released from learning’s musty smell,
Your healing dew would make me well!

— Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, Faust (1808)

I guess if the healing dew of one moon would make one well then would the light of seven moons work even better? Or would be an overdose? Just wondering this morning. Reading my first sentences here reminds me that my life has become one where doses and meds have become dominant. I didn’t see that coming a year or so back. But it’s just part of the price one pays. I would much prefer to be made well by moonlight’s healing dew. I imagine there might be fewer side effects.

I am tired this morning, something I can see in that first paragraph. Unfocused and a bit rambling. As is the case with every solo show that I have done over the past 26 years or so, which includes 70 shows, the days after the show opens are filled with a mix of emotions, something I have documented here many times in the past. There is, of course, relief in that the obligations for the show have been met and my time is freed up a bit. Sometimes there is elation in that the show was wildly successful but even for those shows there is also a sense of a big letdown, bringing with it an almost depressive state.

The carrot that lured this mule forward has been removed and I stumble around in a somewhat aimless state. It often takes a few weeks to shake the blahs that appear during this time. But after 70+ shows, I don’t fret too much when they do appear now. Like the tide, they come then go. A natural occurrence.

I can imagine how difficult if must seem for a young artist encountering this for the first time. I have heard from a number over the years expressing how this feeling surprised them as they expected the exact opposite reaction, that they would feel like life had changed somehow. That the tide would come in and somehow stay there for them. And maybe there are the fortunate few for which this happens.

I don’t know. As it is with so many things, the breadth of my knowledge is limited. On this subject, I can only speak of my experience.

The experience of one befuddled mule with a mysterious disappearing carrot.

I am going to go lay on the floor now. My studio cats are gathered and demanding attention. Maybe I will find the missing carrot down there. Who knows? You never can tell when or where it will reappear.

Here’s hoping…

Here’s also this week’s Sunday Morning Music. It’s Moonlight Mile from the Rolling Stones, a favorite of mine from their 1971 classic album, Sticky Fingers. There’s something in this song that matches up really well with the Mysterious Night at the top and Goethe’s lines— and my own mood this morning.

Now, let me gets to my cats. Don’t step on me on your way out.