Redtree Times

My Little Town (1995)

In my little town
I grew up believing
God keeps his eye on us all
And he used to lean upon me
As I pledged allegiance to the wall

— Paul Simon, My Little Town

This is a little piece from back in November of 1995. There was a lot going on at that point of that year. I had started showing my work at the West End Gallery by then while still working as a waiter at a pancake house and continuing to build our home, which we hoped to soon occupy. My mom was also in the last week or two of her life, a thousand miles away.

It was a busy and fraught time.

I don’t how much any of that came into play for this little painting at the time. I just don’t remember much about working on it. I do remember not thinking much of it when it was done. It felt more like an exercise in color and form more than anything. For the some time, I wouldn’t give it much consideration when I went through my old work. I didn’t even bother scanning it when I was documenting much of the other small pieces from that time. It just seemed insignificant.

But I did title it, scrawling My Little Town along with the date on the bottom of the piece of watercolor paper on which it was painted. That alone makes me think that it had something in it that clicked with some part of me that I might not have recognized at that time.

It seems as though that was the case. Over the years I increasingly began to stop and look at this small painting when I shuffled through the old stuff. It had a completeness that spoke to me and differentiated it from other old work that seemed to be missing this critical element.

It also made me think about what it was saying to me as well as what was meant by that title. I was pretty sure it didn’t mean anyplace I recognized as my home in this physical world. At that time, I felt somewhat disconnected from calling anyplace home. I felt rootless, having not yet discovered the ties our family had to this place. It felt like there was a hole in my existence, one that had me seeking some place I would know as home. This search for home was a theme in my work for quite a few years.

I now see this painting as being about the hometown that was forming in my imagination. The same place that later spawned the Red Tree and the Red Roofs. If I couldn’t feel an attachment to any place then, I could still create such a place in my mind.

And that is how I see this piece now, as being emblematic of the imagination’s power to satisfy a basic need. It tells me that wherever I am, my hometown is there in my head. As a result, it has gone from having me see it as a mere exercise into a favorite little piece.

Of course, the title was derived from the Simon and Garfunkel song of the same name which I am sharing below. I am also sharing a video from back in 2010 that deals with this same idea of home. It is titled Finding Home and was put together at the request of gallery in Tulsa, Oklahoma that was showing my work at the time. It’s kind of rudimentary compared to what can be done these days and the resolution seems poorer than I remember. I watched it for the first time in many years this morning and was interested in seeing the studio (and myself) then as compared to now. The work shown in it is all well remembered. The wall behind me as I was working at my painting table, the one that contained a few pieces of my work, is now a pair of windows. I was heavier then, as well. Things change.

Okay. Enough. I have to get to work while I still have a bit of energy. I have been fatigue’s bitch these last few days. I bet you weren’t expecting that phrase. Oh, well, what are you gonna do? Now, git…