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Posts Tagged ‘Sean Spicer’

alternative-facts-maine-coon-cat-and-grizzly-bearI am now a truly free man.

When Kellyanne Conway spoke those two words last week it was as though she were old Abe Lincoln speaking the words from the Emancipation Proclamation.

The shackles that bound me have been shattered by my newfound belief in Alternative Facts.

No longer must I be held prisoner to the confines of truth or reality. Facts are now what I want them to be. The world now looks like I feel it should despite any and all evidence to the contrary you might try to put before me.

Gone is the boring concept of a fact only existing in one dimension.  Now we have choices– good , better, and best facts. These facts are mine which means they are the best facts.

Believe me. It’s true.

So, I have therefore decided that I must enlighten the public as to what is really what.  Today begins what will be a series of Alternative Facts. If you’re anything like Sean Spicer, you most likely believe that you know these already.

Today’s Alternative Fact:

The Maine Coon Cat is the Largest Animal in North America.

You probably thought it was some loser bison, moose or bear.  Duh…

I mean, come on, just look at the picture! I normally don’t trust photos ( look at how all of those news and governmental agencies cropped out the many, many millions of the best Americans who packed the Mall on Inauguration Day!)  but in my judgment– and it is factually the best judgment– anyone can see that this is a real photo.

See, the sky is blue.  It’s got to be real.

I have had people tell me– I know for a fact that Bernhard Langer saw it firsthand–that there are gangs of these nasty cats roaming the streets in and around Bangor, Maine. It’s a hellscape up there. They tell me there is a million, maybe a million and a half of these monsters terrorizing the good people, batting cars off the roads like throw toys and devouring school children at bus stops.

Maine Coon Carnage!  It’s true. I have been told by people who would know that they may send in the feds.

This is a fact.  You might try to call me a liar but that just shows how ignorant you are– Liar is not even a real word! That’s another fact! So this has been a two-fer.

You’re welcome.

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GC Myers- The Unwelcome Guest 2017Well, wasn’t that a day yesterday?

Unpresidented.

Actually, every day forward is unpresidented. And yes, I know the difference between the two homophones.

I believe I am using the correct one in this case.

In what may have been the worst first day for any presidency, the Faux One spoke at the CIA where he bragged about his victory, said that we may get another chance to take the Iraqi’s oil and trashed the press for showing photos and figure from his inauguration that didn’t jibe with the alternate reality spinning around in that bigly orange dome.

He then sent his press secretary Sean Spicer out for his first press briefing at the White House.  Spicer kind of looks like the Frank Burns character from the classic M.A.S.H. television series and has what appears to be about the same pettiness, intellect and temperament.  He is thin lipped and thin-skinned.

Spicer came out and attacked the press for its reporting on the size of the inauguration, angrily stating the obvious untruth, “This was the largest audience ever to witness an inauguration, period, both in person and around the globe.”  He gave some misleading and simply wrong figures from the Washington Metro to prove his case.

He personally estimated the crowd at the inauguration to be between 1 and 1.5 million.  I am guessing he wouldn’t be able to get a job guessing weights at the carnival with those keen observation skills. You can read a good article on the known facts of the inauguration in this article from The Atlantic.

Taking no questions, he huffed off the podium.  Again, think Frank Burns stomping out of the Swamp.

Beginning your tenure in that position with provable falsehoods is not an auspicious start.  And there was not a mention from the Faux One or Spicer on the large and peaceful demonstrations against his stated policies taking place within a stone’s throw of the White House as well as across the country and around the world.  Instead of acknowledging the protest and trying to reach out, they instead chose to whine and lie about something so inconsequential as the crowd size for the inauguration in their first day on the job.

Whine and Lie– it’s the new modus operandi.  Either get used to it or support and encourage a free and open press. Yell down every lie ( that’s apparently going to be a full-time job!) and stay engaged.  The unity, good will and energy from yesterday’s demonstrations is worth nothing if it is not continued forward day by day, week by week and month by month until change is truly at hand.

Okay, this week’s Sunday morning musical selection is from one of my favorite albums, Mermaid Avenue. It consists of the unrecorded lyrics of Woody Guthrie as translated though the music of Wilco and Billy Bragg.  This particular song is titled The Unwelcome Guest.  For me, that title could refer to the Faux One taking his place in the Oval Office.  But in the song it refers to a Robin Hood sort of character who travels the world on horseback stealing from the rich to give to the poor.  The rich refer to him as the the Unwelcome Guest and he knows that they will kill him one day.  But he knows that there are many other brave folks willing to take up his mantle and continue his quest.

Yes, they’ll catch me napping one day
and they’ll kill me
And then I’ll be gone but that won´t be my end
For my guns and my saddle will always be filled
By unwelcome travellers and other brave men

And they’ll take the money and spread it out equal
Just like the Bible and the prophets suggest
But the man that go riding to help these poor workers
The rich will cut down like an unwelcome guest

Have a good day. Stay engaged, be vigilant and speak up when faced with lies or hatred.

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