I am now into the seventh year of writing this blog. It seems hard to believe that so much time has passed and so many posts, well over 1800, have been written. I was initially hesitant in writing this thing, afraid that there would be too much sharing, that I would unwittingly uncover the less pleasant sides of my character or reveal myself as some sort of fraud. The idea of transparency as an artist seemed at that point a very scary proposition.
But in the years that have passed I have learned that this transparency has not been the devil I feared. If anything, it has added to my own perception of how I see my own work and what I see as my purpose as an artist. I have learned that I cannot separate myself from my work, that these two entities are codependents, each needing the other for existence. The work is a reflection of me and I am now evolving into a reflection of the work.
Or so I hope. I have often described my work as aspirational, as being a hoped-for emotional destination for myself. So it would be fitting that I move toward this endpoint.
As I reread the above, I realize that one of the biggest challenges faced by writing a semi-daily blog is writing it in off the cuff, in a diary-like manner without much editing of any sort. There are moments where I hesitate and want to change or delete everything, fearing that I contradict myself or reveal too much. But we are animals of contradiction and I am now comfortable with living my life in a somewhat transparent manner through this blog and in my work. I know that it will show through in some way, either in these words or in the paint.
So I continue on.
It’s the only thing I know how to do.
Redtree Times 