Redtree Times

I am now into the seventh year of writing this blog.  It seems hard to believe that so much time has passed and so many posts, well over 1800,  have been written.  I was initially hesitant in writing this thing, afraid that there would be too much sharing, that I would unwittingly uncover the less pleasant sides of my character or reveal myself as some sort of fraud.  The idea of transparency as an artist seemed at that point a very scary proposition.

But in the years that have passed I have learned that this transparency has not been the devil I feared.  If anything, it has added to my own perception of how I see my own work and what I see as my purpose as an artist.  I have learned that I cannot separate myself from my work, that these two entities are codependents, each needing the other for existence.  The work is a reflection of me and I am now evolving into a reflection of the work.

Or so I hope.  I have often described my work as aspirational, as being a hoped-for emotional destination for myself.  So it would be fitting that I move toward this endpoint.

As I reread the above, I realize that one of the biggest challenges faced by writing a semi-daily blog is writing it in off the cuff, in a diary-like manner without much editing of any sort.   There are moments where I hesitate and want to change or delete everything, fearing that I contradict myself or reveal too much.  But we are animals of contradiction and I am now comfortable with living my life in a somewhat transparent manner through this blog and in my work.  I know that it will show through in some way, either in these words or in the paint.

So I continue on.

It’s the only thing I know how to do.