Two Sides (2006)
We should go forth on the shortest walk, perchance in the spirit of undying adventure, never to return – sending back our embalmed hearts only as relics to our desolate kingdoms.
–Henry David Thoreau, Walking (1862)
As I have mentioned here recently, I have been going through older work for inclusion in my upcoming solo show at the Principle Gallery in June. I don’t hold tightly to many objects, including my own work. That said, it’s been difficult trying to choose which pieces I am willing to let go.
It comes down to the question: Which paintings do I hold too precious to part with? And if so, why?
There are a few paintings that I consider untouchable. The painting at the top, for instance. It is titled Two Sides and is from my 2006 Outlaws series. It now sits directly in front of me at my desk and serves as a constant reminder of the dualities that make up our lives– darkness and light, good and evil, etc.– and the choice we have to make between the two. it may not be a monumental painting nor may it appeal to many others, but it is one which feels like a part of who I am.
One that I will carry with me to my grave.
A heart to be embalmed.
A Prayer For Light— Exiles series 1995
The same goes for the painting, A Prayer For Light, shown here on the right. It is from my Exiles series that began in 1995 and has so much personal meaning that parting with it seems impossible to me.
Its absence would haunt me. It would be like tearing out my heart before it had a chance to be embalmed.
With this in mind, I recently came across this passage from Thoreau’s deathbed essay that was published posthumously in The Atlantic in 1862. In the context of what I was doing, I wondered what pieces, if any, of my work might someday serve, as Thoreau put it, as an embalmed heart.
A relic to be sent into the desolate kingdoms of the future.
I don’t think that’s a question I can answer.
I would like to think so, but I know that it might be a long shot. And if so, it would most likely be as an obscure relic. And whether any of the paintings I consider untouchable– the two shown here and several others– become these obscure relics is probably even a longer shot.
It’s not for me to say. I have not control or sway on those desolate kingdoms that make up the future. Hell, I have little sway here and now.
But I continue my walk through this life, putting my heart out here, alive and beating. Whether it finds its way into the future as a relic tucked away in some dusty closet or as another bit of trash in some dank landfill is irrelevant.
When I finally end my walk, let them do what they may with my heart.
When that time comes, I will have no longer use for it. It will have served me well and if someone finds a use for it, so be it.
Here’s a song that I played with the painting several years ago. I always think of this song as an accompaniment to this painting. This is Shoot Out the Lights from Richard and Linda Thompson.
Redtree Times 